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[25 Sep 2005|08:36pm] I feel so different i don't feel like me.....at all 4 fEll fOr yOu..

[15 Feb 2005|03:42pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | free me- emma bunton ] well i haven't updated in a long ass time...ohh well..This weekend was one of the best weekends in a while. I went skiing with jackie, emily, farrah and chrissy..I love those girls so much...lol...it was so funn, apart from the part wehn I tryed to get up and ended up on my face...lol...dats okay tho...haha the highlight of my day tho was when me and emily went to go skii and we were coming off the ski lift thinger and i dunno she must of fell or something but then she just popped up out of nowhere and the guy was like thats your best so far...it made my day...and i dunno i laffed alot that day, mainly because of emily, haha it was soo funnie, "i'm not even gonna bother to spit cuz it'd end up on my crotch" haha I love you emily. So then after we went skiing we all went back to chrissy house i actually don't remember what we did there, i have no clue why but i really don't remember, i jsut remember waking to to emily and chrissy being really annoying in the morning, and i'm def. not a morning person, and I don't talk at all...i grunt. lol... so then i hung out with farrah adn we went to go get my eyebrows done and then we went to stewarts,alot more happened during that weekend too, but i dunno i can't think stright right now Well school sux, valentines day sucked...umm yeah...but life is good, i'm tired of trying with everything...whatever i do its still wrong so you know what i say? i just say fuck it...I dunno I really miss hanging out with people, like kevin and gabby but..there never seems to be enuff time, so yeah, i dunno what else to write about...leave one if you want 2 fEll fOr yOu..

ugh [09 Jan 2005|07:12pm] [ mood | irk.. ] [ music | love machine- girls aloud ] Well i'm back from England...can't say i'm happy about it but w.e ima have to live with it aren't I...i loved my trip every part of it...but i did miss my 5 favorite girls! lol So yeah i get off my flight and i listen to all my voicemails...guess who they are all from...jackie...lol she called me like 5 times while i was there i dunno whether she was expecting me to pick up but umm yeah hunny i can't pick up...lol so well i saw all my family...i love em all so much....went shopping a few times can't beat shopping lol...it was nice to go with my cousin...get her opinion on things you know? well i bought boots i love my boots! you have to see my boots lol, but i prolly won't wear em to school, cuz i dun't want em screwed up cuz dey were expensive as hell..well the past week i've done so much thinking...way to much to sit here and list it all...well friday after school the girls and I we sorted out alot of things that we were having problems with each other about, some good came out of that... so friday night alot of shit got blown up, but hey i think it was a good thing, at the time it seemed really bad but i really think that alot of good came out of it...so well we all eventually went to sleep at farrahs at about 3-4 ...so then i woke up at like 8 went back to sleep then i woke up...lol...so then i came home and got ready to go to the mall with emily, we went shopping she got some clothes and i got some earings....then her dad picked us up i went home and then chrissy picked me up and jackie chrissy and I we went to emilys to watch movies...today could have been better, i went over farrahs house, gosh that made my day terrible, lol just kiddin we talked she helped me alot, well then i came home and just chatted to people online, good shit...lol... well i'm off now...comment if ya like.. fEll fOr yOu..

[28 Dec 2004|09:12pm] I don't wanna come back to america!!! i wanna stay here.... 2 fEll fOr yOu..

[19 Dec 2004|08:59am] [ mood | content ] [ music | summer sunshine ] Well its like 9:00 and i'm up really early..i couldn't sleep to well last night, i can't sleep with my mouth open and because mynose was all blocked and i couldn't breath with my mouth shut...i kinda had to sleep with it open..Anyway...I haven't updated in a while i posted a picture but that was it, I was thinking this time a week from now i'll be england, i'd of just finished exchanging gifts with my uncle aunt and two cousins, and we will be about to leave for hull, i'll be in a car driving towards the cemetery to go see my grandad and nanna and put some flowers and reafs on their graves, and from there i'll be off to my grandmas house to drop our stuff off and get ready for boxing day (like another christmas) and we will all walk down to my aunts house to celebrate christmas and boxing day and we get to open up all our presents..TOGETHER AGEN atlast. so thats that... Lately i've been feeling so ick...i guess its cuz i gots a cold..oh well.......this is such a pointless entry..ohh well....comment if your reading..i bet i'll get 0 comments lol.. 4 fEll fOr yOu..

[15 Dec 2004|05:24pm] My friends in england....i miss em all so much! Rox is the one next to me robz is the one below me, and the one in black next to robz is kelz and the girl she is with is her cousin... fEll fOr yOu..

umm no.. [06 Dec 2004|05:09pm] [ mood | ugh ] [ music | dirty dancing ] Well i haven't updated in a while, because honestly there is nothing worthwhile writing about. WEll i'm bored therefore ima update =p. well saturday emily and I went to the mall and went to see finding neverland we cryed threw the last 30 minutes of it. it brought back so many memories, and it made me think so much of things both good and bad... Sunday was the bandquet, i woke up early as hell, around 8:00 which is early on weekends fer me.. then i went shopping with my mum, we got most of our familys christmas shopping done, we are gonna need two extra suitcases just for gifts when we go to england. then we went to mandee and i got some clothes fer christmas, then i came home and started to get ready fer the band banquet, well i eventually got there everyone looked so nice! i'm so glad that i didn't wear pants, and i liked my dress eventhough i wasn't too pleased with how my body looked in it but oh well..well then i was taking pictures and everything, i got put in the worst mood ever, but oh well you won't get to me anymore..i'm done. so then farrah and i wondered around, joleen was dancing. eventually i started dancing, i did the cha cha slide, and so did farrah that like my favorite...farrah member at yer house..lol. Then I came home and went to bed... Today..umm wow i dun't even wanna get started on today, I was in the best mood but then wow, i got so i guess yu can say mad/upset? oh well it was over something stupid, i guess i'm over it. can't be bovered to write anymore now i'm tired, bye fer now..toodles fEll fOr yOu..

[28 Nov 2004|06:26pm] [ mood | grateful ] [ music | Leanne rimes-how do i live ] Hey well i haven't updated in a while well i did but it was under friends only, anyway, well the break was actually pretty good thankgiving it was just me my mum, dad and liam we ate and w3 watched harry potter, i love family time so much, it not very ofter we spend it together, But i guess it made me think, i love holidays but at the same time they make me sad, like at the thanksgiving day football game everyone was like i avhe to go to my aunts or grandmas house i dun't wanna go, god what i would do to be able to do that! i would love it. I guess thats one reaosn why i'm so excited to go to england this christmas, i can finally spend a holiday with the people i love, my family, i guess i realized that teh saying you dun't know what you have until its gone is true, i had no idea how much imissed every single family member there until they were still there and i was here, if that made any sence,lol well anyway,friday i went to woodbury commons with my mommie, i saw stuff but i didn't buy anything cuz the lines wre so long, i didn't feel like waiting. so then i came home and emily came over, we were being stupid and ishs then we dropped emily off at home and i went to chrissys, farrah and umit were there, eventually chrissy and I went to the tree lighting down town, it was boring, i gotta hat tho!! it cost me a whole of umm 2 dollars lol.so after that emily, farrah, john, colin, fil, and I we all went back to emilys house we got ot the arts center and i asked emily if she had a key, and guess what she didn't have a key to get into her house so we had to wait fer her paresnts to come to the arts center and give us a key, so we waited, then they came and we went to emilys house, it was fun, i was hyper, then i went to her third floor and turned her fans on and balloons got stuck in the fan, opps! lol Well saturday i woke up around 9 because of my fone emily decided she'd call me, so she called, after that i was beginning to fall back to sleep and i got a text from jackie, so around 10:30 jackie came and about 11 emily came and we baked cakes! fun, so after the cakes me and emily did our hair, then went up in my room, wow, jackie and emily went through my under and put it everywhere upstairs in my house, lol...then we went to chrissys; dropped off the cakes, and then went to get balloons that was so funnie, christmas music was so loud in my car and we were all singing it was too funnie, yu kinda had to be there to find it funnie tho. lol, so then we picked up joe and went to chrissy and helped her set up fer the party, then me joe emily, umit, and chrissy watched parts of west side story and cheaper by the dozen, god both those movies bring back memories. well around 5ish people began arivied and then at around 5:30 the first surprise happened which was mark we brought him into basement and said suprise then did the same thing with farrah, well it was a pretty good night, emily i'm so sorry for stepping on your head!! well i was hyper most of the night, someone showed up who i didn't want there but hey w.e it didn't ruin my night, eventually people began to leave, and i got tired, i fell asleep fer about a half hour er so then woke up, then yeah, lol. TOday i did absolutely nothing it was nice, but i had no excuse not to study so i had to do it! lol, oh well this marking period i actually want good grades!! well i want comments! eventhought there is nothing to talk about!! and i still won't get any but its okay! Ohhhh Farrah...AHHHHH CHOOOOOO..!xobile...lol 4 fEll fOr yOu..

Oh my life is good! [14 Nov 2004|09:28pm] [ mood | flirty ] [ music | The streets- Fit but you know it ] well lets start off with yesterday..wow yesterday was a great day besides the fact like i couldn't feel my fingers and feet it was awesome. well we had championships fer band. it was great and i am so proud of every single one of your guys! you all did great in the first and the third songs i'm unsure about the 2nd one because well thats the one which i am in, but every single one of you did an awesome job, i wantedto just jump up at the end of each song and hug you all!! well then we all went to burger king, wow i don't think burger king has had that much service in like forever..lol. OUr bus broke down so we had to end up waiting fer the other bus to come back for us..lol. well then we went to the awards ceremony i was too hyper! "work it out!!" lol farrah.. so then group 3a award were being anounced we got third and we also got best guard and percussion! i'm so proud of all of you!! GO GUARD!!! well on the way back to the bus, something was bothering me, i hate seeing people upset so i decided to try and cheer him up, give him some of my hyperness cuz i think i was taking too much lol...i dunno whether it helped i hope it did! lol. well on the way back i annoyed farrah, it was so much fun! when we almost got home something pissed me off but whatever it over with now. Today i did absolutley nothing i talked to my cousins in england and my friends in england, 37 days till i go back!!! woohoo!! everyday that number goes down..so then emily decided that she wanted to come home from the mall after about 50 hours in it! so then she came over and we were just being stupid then we went on a walk, emily is such a girly girl she tripped about 5 times, eachtime she would eaither sqeek or scream, haha what a moron, but you gotta love her! lol so we then went to farrahs house and jackie was there, they had baked brownies, and me being a fat ass as farrah likes to put it ate them lol.. so then me and jackie went to A&P haha we have some good times in that store, haha and you can't forget CVS! lol, haha only jackie "umm which ones should i get?" lol. So then we walked back to farrahs and we just talked about stuff. farrah and emily made a picture of me well actually it was naked barbie doll with my face on it lol, it sucked!! jackie eventually left, and it was emily farrah and I, haha i am so great at the cha cha slide lol, haha i suck! so then emily left and i watched some comedy with farrah it was so funnie, but nothing beats peter kay! farrah thinks its stupid but she just doesn't understand it cuz its british. Now i'm home in a great mood, but yeah i'm so hyper yet so tired, does anyone listen to the streets? I tHink yoU Are rEAlly Fit... fEll fOr yOu..

i don't want just anyone to hold... [07 Nov 2004|08:51pm] [ mood | stange ] [ music | Jess McCartney ] i dun't exactly mknow how to put all of my feelings into words they just seem to be there, and there is no explanation for any of them, i feel betrayed, empty, lost, hurt, lonely, lifeless, uphappy, glad all of these feelings, they all jstt seem to be mixing together, i try talking to people, but i never seem to give all the whole story only the parts which don't hurt as much, i say i don't care but i do, i don't want to care yet i always find myself caring. Although i know there a friends who are there for me, i feel as if i have noone. I try to hide all my feelings with a smile, but soon enough that smile turns into a frown and soon enuff that frown turns into tears running down your cheeks. i guess i'm glad that i never seem to get to attached,i hate it when people say onething but then say another thing the next day, i hate it when life is going well but then you know something is bound to shoot you down. The good thing is that everything happens for a reason right? well whatever, time for me to get on with my life, who wants to go minigolfing? lol. I need distractions, oh yeah next time don't say anything to me, asshole. everything is done, now its time to start fresh. Why are people such i dun't know what to call em? haha screw you. life goes on.... FuCk YoU!!!! 3 fEll fOr yOu..

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